Hot Cross Bonkers

It's Maundy Thursday, and in Guildford - perhaps now best known for being where ageing rock stars go to live, and being the Cathedral where Damien Thorn got spooked - HM The Queen has been dishing out the Maundy Money to worthy subjects. Subjects, note, what a charming word, just in case we'd forgotten our place in this modern world...and even more worth noting when you remember that her Prime Minister exercises considerable power on her behalf through the Royal Prerogative. And she doesn't wash their feet, either.

Maundy Thursday, is, of course, a part of what we call Easter, which, if you're a Christian, is about as important a festival as it gets. It is the very embodiment of those three values which are taught to Christians, namely Faith, Hope and Charity. I understand that it is also the main Jewish festival, Passover, and if you go back through history, this time of year has had serious religious significance for a long, long time, and often for profound, and not unrelated reasons, for people throughout history and geography.

So on this note of deep spirituality, and dare I say, ecumenicalism and tolerance, Krusty The Baker is delighted to let you know, because it's his business to know, that this week, the British will eat between 55 and 60 million hot cross buns, most of which they will push and shove at the modern temples we call supermarkets in order to snaffle before the other guy, which they will buy in offers that are designed only to drag people through the door, and to allow them to make claims about being cheaper than the other supermarket. Is it me, or isn't it just a little sad that it's all reduced to nothing more than a distasteful scramble of buns and chocolate for nothing more than profit and fuck-your-God attitudes. I'm not a religious man, but it just strikes me as all a little tragic and limited.

George Orwell, who had a talent for writing unpleasant things, begins one of them, 'Keep The Aspidistra Flying' - incidentally, the movie is yet another reason among many to question the point of Richard E. Grant - with a rewrite of St. Paul's piece about 'Faith, Hope and Charity, and the greatest among these is Charity' replacing the word Charity with Money.

That happy bastard had a point, didn't he?

On a completely different theme, today saw the return to the office of not one but two of my more favourite people, or more accurately, views. Not for long, unfortunately, but it did relieve the boredom of what was otherwise not the most riveting of times today.

I am getting unhealthily lustful, and nobody seems to want to take advantage of it. What a terrific waste.